Thursday, June 19, 2008

Should have called it "The Nothing(s) Happening"

I have a pretty good score with M. Knight Shayamalan´s films. I liked Sixth Sense (at the time), hated Unbreakable, hated Signs (when I saw it in the theater, but later became fond of it), loved the Village and thought Waterbroad (aka Lady in the Water) was one of the most laughable movies I had ever seen, and not in a good way. So I knew that the Happening (or "El Incidente" in Espa├▒ol, a MUCH better title) could go either way.

Let me assure you, this made Waterbroad seem like oscar material. For starters, the acting and dialogue play a chicken and egg sort of dance, because you can´t tell which is worse, or which started things off on such a horrible journey together. There is one scene that involves people falling off of buildings that was disturbing, and other than that, every single death scene was highly comedic and predictable. However, while the death scenes felt like they were taken from a slasher film where the killer must dispatch the teenagers in a new and different way each time, the premise was, quite simply atrocious.

If you are thinking of seeing this, read no further or you will miss the big twist. There is no big twist. Frankly, I´m thankful for this, but apprently this was M. Knight´s only trick because without it, he gives away halfway through the film that the killer is, wait, not the first time this year even, PLANTS. Not the cell-phone imitating plants from "The Ruins", but even less sinister plants. Whole fields of grass, killers I say. 2008, the year Hollywood ran out of ideas and two moveis, one horror, one a "thriller" (?) feature plants as their bad guys.

I think that at the rate movies are being dummed down, "Ass" will not be the academy award winner of 2505, but instead 2015. Way to suck Hollywood.

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